I kill people. I’m good at it. Sometimes I go after people that deserve it. Sometimes I don’t. Occasionally, I do it for the money. Mostly, I do it because I enjoy it.

You remember that weird kid in school? The girl that had no friends? That wasn’t me. The only rule I have is don’t get caught. And the best way to achieve this is to blend in. Don’t be remarkable. Have a few friends. Not enough that you’re popular and everyone knows you, just enough that no one ever notices you sitting by yourself.

I’m long out of school now, but that rule still applies. Even to my online life. Especially to my online life. The first thing that we do when meeting someone for the first time is to find their digital footprint. You can find me on all the popular social media pages if you know where to look. But you probably won’t want to follow me. I keep Facebook updates regular, but uninteresting. I follow celebrities on Twitter, and I only Instagram pictures of my food and sunsets. Yep. The illusion of normality.

It helps to have a few people who are close to you though. Whilst keeping most of the world at arms length, I made a few exceptions for people I’ve known for a long time. Take my friend Tori for example. We’ve been friends since we met in the second grade. She partly helps me to blend in, partly acts as my connection to the mainstream world, but really, she’s my friend.

See, I’m not like the characters on T.V. They all seem to have some social or mental disorder.  Psychopath, sociopath, multiple personalities. We’re always looking for a reason that deranged individuals are the way they are. Really, there’s nothing different between me and you. If I were in the army, I would have made the perfect soldier. A killing machine. Place me in interrogation rooms, and watch the secrets flow. Instead, I use my skills within society, not a battlefield.

Am I the next Batman? A vigilante hero? Or Dexter, clearing the streets of lawbreakers? Not likely. Sure, there are times when I use my unique talents to help others, but mainly, I’m in it for the fun. The whole “steal from the rich” thing has never been my mantra; I prefer to treat everyone equally. And that means occasionally cavorting with the bad guys.